10 March 1916:  Lima, Peru

"We will be seated at a rectangular table, with the long end oriented west-east", the aide said to Eduard Torres.  The Foreign Affairs Minister was a captive audience, seated in a barber's chair with his chin tilted up as the embassy's barber trimmed his beard with a straight razor.  "The Confederate delegation will be seated on the north side, we on the south side.  Your Peruvian counterpart will be on the west side of the table.  His staff will be seated along the wall behind him."

Protocol could be silly and tedious, but it provided order and structure to things.  Without it, meetings could degenerate quickly on the basis of perceived slights and diplomacy would fail.  His aide might be anal-retentive about who sat where and in what kind of chair, but it was anal-retentive in a good way.

"The room is located on the east side of the Peruvian Ministry for Foreign Affairs; the meeting time is late enough in the morning that direct sunlight will not be an issue."

Torres grunted an mmm-hmmm, since nodding might prove a fatal gesture under the circumstances. 

"There will be water provided at the table; coffee and tea will be located on the east end of the table.  This eliminates the need for serving staff and allows for only essential personnel from the three parties to be present in the room", the aide observed.  "The agenda is as follows:

"First, Peru will greet the parties and go over the housekeeping list - essentially, the location of refreshments and lavatories.  The Peruvian foreign minister will otherwise only otherwise play a purely facilitational role; he will not be taking part in the policy discussions.

"Second, as the invited party, Sr. Wilson will make opening comments.  You will follow.

"Third, Sr. Wilson and yourself will alternate introducing topics for discussion.  We have agreed to a limit of three topics per party, at fifteen minutes each.  The Confederates have indicated that they will lead off with the situation in Bharat.  Per your instructions, I have indicated that you will lead off with the DRM.  Neither side has committed to the other two topics they will introduce, providing you with flexibility to decide this based on the conversation to that point.  I remain confident that the briefing binder provided to you covers all likely topics of discussion."

"Is the note on Bharat up to date?", Torres interjected as the barber took a moment to exchange the razor for scissors.

"It was updated this morning as of six o'clock.  The note is largely unchanged, as most national governments have yet to state their positions in the affair."

"Very good.  I will re-read it over breakfast."

"Yes, Minister.  Continuing with the agenda, thirty minutes have been allotted to return to any of the six topics raised to that point.  Sr. Wilson and then yourself will make closing remarks, and the meeting will conclude with the taking of a photograph.  Rooms will be made available to both parties for caucusing at all times and after the meeting."

"We will return here after the meeting to caucus", Torres said.  "I will pay our host a visit and discuss the meeting with him over dinner this evening."

"Yes, Minister."

"What is known of Sr. Wilson's schedule after the meeting?"

The aide consulted his writing pad.  "The Confederate delegation does not leave until tomorrow.  Sr. Wilson is taking lunch with your Peruvian counterpart, and is thought to be playing golf at the Capital Club this afternoon.  I am not aware of his evening plans nor those for tomorrow."

"A driving tour of the city, I would wager", Torres murmured.  As the barber held a hand mirror up to the minister's face, Torres asked, "How do I look, Paulo?"

"Stately, Minister."

15 March 1916

Hand-delivered to Premier Galpoux by the Colombian ambassador in Paris; delivered to the Bharati foreign affairs ministry via diplomatic courier; copies provided to other powers through Colombian embassies.  The time lag represents the difficulty involved in getting the communication to Bharat, in which GC has no formal diplomatic representation.

QuotePlease be advised that the Republic of Gran Colombia proclaims a position of neutrality with respect to the current conflict in Asia.

Colombian ports, waterways, and waters are closed to belligerent warships, with the exception of those which are escorting refugee ships.

Colombian ports, waterways, and waters remain open to belligerent merchantile shipping.  Continued access will be reliant upon lawful behaviour and civil conduct even where contact with enemy nationals takes place.  Violation of Colombian criminal codes will be dealt with stringently. 

Colombian naval forces have terminated their evacuation efforts from Bharat itself but will be escorting refugee ships from Burma to their destinations as required.  Colombian naval forces are authorized to use deadly and pre-emptive force in the defence of themselves or refugee ships in their care. 

Acts of aggression against refugee ships, Colombian covering forces, or other Colombian individuals, vessels, territory or property may be considered acts of aggression against the Republic of Gran Colombia in general, and will responded to in a form suiting the best interests of the Republic of Gran Colombia.

At the conclusion of the conflict, the Republic of Gran Colombia will, where appropriate, invoice belligerent governments for compensation concerning lost income, property, and lives.

Please contact the Ministry of Foreign Affairs for further information.

16 March 1916:  Pago Pago

A banana boat was not a familiar sight in Pago Pago, on account of the cargo generally being sent to North America and Europe.  A banana boat emblazoned with large green crosses, sitting at the Green Cross pier, was even less familiar.

The Green Cross's Director for Pacific Relief, Dr. Marcel Sumacz, had been over in the organization's nearby warehouse when the ship had tied up.  He'd left one of his managers in charge of organizing the next relief shipment to Kolkata and walked the short distance to the pier to see what was happening.

His arrival having been anticipated, there was a youthful Colombian (in an improbably crisp business suit) standing at the bottom of the ship's gangway when Sumacz arrived.

"Hello - I'm Raimundo Alcantara, with the Gran Colombian Department of Foreign Affairs", the young man said as they shook hands. 

"A pleasure", Sumacz replied.  "I was not expecting a ship for three days - but we can increase our pace and begin loading tomorrow evening."

"No need, good Sir", Alcantara said.  "The Tauro is already laden; we are merely here to confirm that the Green Cross is prepared to accept our donation and provide us with the necessary documentation in order for us to continue on our way."

"I can get you the documentation easily enough", Sumacz said.  "What is the cargo?"

Alcantara bent down and picked up a small tin that had been sitting on the pier unnoticed.  "The Gran Colombian government, being deeply concerned with the well-being of civilians world-wide, has arranged for emergency production and donation of these transportable foodstuffs for the benefit of displaced persons on both sides of the frontline."

Army rations, Sumacz thought to himself.  "May I ask what the contents are?"

"Certainly.  The tin itself is sealed with wax to ensure the contents last longer."  Alcantara used a small letter-opener to slice through the wax and then popped the lid off to show Sumacz the contents.  "Each contains one full meal, plus accessories.  There is a half-kilogram tin of bandeja paisa - consisting of white rice, red beans, and ground beef.  There are two quarter-kilogram bricks of arepa - a corn bread of sorts, if you're not familiar with our cuisine.  This is a variant design to last longer, so it tends to be slightly heavier than what we're accustomed to."  The bread did, indeed, have a stone-like appearance to it.  "There are also small packets of tea, coffee, and sugar, and a small tin of aji."

"Of what?"

"It's a sauce often used to complement dishes - tomato, cilantro, onion, and hot peppers are the primary ingredients.  It would entirely reasonable to spread it on either the arepas or into the bandeja paisa."

"Ah", Sumacz grunted.  "And...leaves?"

"Two plantain leaves - for use as part of the meal, as an eating surface, or for wiping one's hands and face, or other purposes as the user sees fit.  They also protect some of the other contents of the package:  a packet of Libertador-brand cigarettes, matches, and a bag of canicas."

Sumacz was initially struck by the stylized drawing of a smoking, heavily armed Simon Bolivar on the packet, and wondered what the liberator of the Americas might have thought of this; then his rusty knowledge of Spanish led him to ask, "Wait - canicas.  Marbles?"

"Not the glass kind", Alcantara replied.  He withdrew the waxed paper bag, set down the tin and its lid, and then ripped the top off the little bag.  He showed it to Sumacz, who noted about a dozen marble-sized spheres in different colors inside.  "Try one", he added.

"What are they?"

"Chocolate with a candy shell.  The chocolate is an excellent source of energy, but tends to melt in our heat.  The shell keeps it together until you chew it", Alcantara noted.  "It was originally developed for the Ejercito, but is now being marketted as a confection to civilians."

Sumacz reached into the bag, examined a light blue sphere the size of his little finger, and popped it into his mouth.  "Children must love them", he remarked after he'd swallowed the sweet.

"The coloring helps.  They were first marketed as perlas, but children were not interested in the all-white confections.  Most wound up in Ejercito ration tins eventually - the troops are less fussy."

"It seems like a useful parcel of food", Sumacz said, reaching into the bag again.  "A lot of people in Kolkata could use them - although the beef will be a problem for the Hindi population."

"Half are made with chicken instead of beef.  They're marked differently on the lids", Alcantara said.

"Excellent - how many is your government able to donate?"

"We have three point six million in our holds", Alcantara replied with a toothy smile.

What? ONLY 3.6m....wtf? :D

3.6 million MRE's...
It looks like Gran Colombia is planning to court a new enemy. ;)

I imagine French troops and civilians might tire of canned bandeja paisa fairly quickly, but they'll appreciate - and perhaps become long-term consumers of - the smokes and chocolate.

ah.. there is the evil plot...

;D

If my moustache were suitably shaped, I would twirl it about now.

MREs and M&Ms. Gran Colombia uber alles!  :P

Maybe adding a dash of coke to the chocolade?  After all, France is decadent.

Better to find a separate product to market that in.  "Cola de Coca", perhaps.

Quote from: The Rock Doctor on April 07, 2009, 10:14:00 AM
Better to find a separate product to market that in.  "Cola de Coca", perhaps.

Ahem. Don't even think about that. Coca Cola is already headquartered in Atlanta as OTL. It's likely that France is a major export market though.

See Atlanta in this post: http://www.navalism.org/index.php?topic=2898.msg31224#msg31224

;D

Drats - foiled again. 

Perhaps "cola del jolt" is still available, in which case we can add soft drinks to our national rivalry.

There's always Pepsi too.

Makes me think of one of my favorite movie scenes:

"Won't you gentlemen have a Pepsi?"

That or the commercial where the Pepsi delivery guy and the Coke guy are sitting at a diner. The Pepsi guy asks the Coke guy to try Pepsi, he does and give the 'not bad' look, then the Pepsi guy tries the Coke and won't give it back. Or maybe it's the other way around, you get the gist either way. :D