Richmond Times-Dispatch 1909

Started by Carthaginian, December 09, 2007, 06:35:46 PM

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Carthaginian

12JAN1909
Richmond, Virginia


"Senator! Could I beg a moment of your time..."
"Mr. Representative, can I buy you a cup of coffee... oh, and by the way..."
"I know you work for the Honorable Mr. _________. Maybe you could drop him a hint for me, love."

All over the Capital grounds, and throughout the streets of Richmond, scenes like this repeat themselves every day. After the abortion that has taken on the name 'The Thanksgiving Revolution,' lobbiest from groups as varried as the 'Brewers and Distiller's Trade Union' to 'Cotton Farmer's and Ginners Association' to 'Under God' and 'Those Burned by the Firewater' have begun working- if not cooperatively, at least in close concert- to shift opinion in Congress towards a single goal- the nationwide abolition of the Socialist Party. Too many business intrests fear that similar events could occur in their towns and cities. Religous organizations cite theft by the government is as unBiblical as theft by an individual- no matter howlaudable the intent.

Slowly, they appear to be making an impact. In the Thursday scession of the House of Representatives, a motion was made to officially ban the Socialists as 'subversive and revolutionary,' and though it was narrowly defeated, the motion was within 11 votes of officially being accepted as a Bill for consideration.

Thus, the tenacious efforts of the man and woman on the street conitinues.

Only 11 votes to go before the horrors unleased upon Savannah are outlawed forever!
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

18FEB09
La Paz, California


"Damn, she's gonna be ugly. Short, boxy... low in the water. Top-heavy as a Sonoran whore, and awkward unless the seas are 6 feet or less. Hell, she won't even be able to do her damn job if seas get to 10 feet!"

"8 feet, Sir... she'll be useless in more than 8foot seas."

"Bloody hell... why are we building her ag..."

*both men look at a picture of Secretary of the Navy Roosevelt on the wall*

You were saying, sir?

"Richards?"

"Sir?"

"Bite me."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

#2
21FEB09
Atlanta, Georgia


EXTRA
Georgia Outlaws Socialist Party
Socialist Party Made Illegal By Act of Congress

Today, in Atlanta, the State Legislature met in a joint session and passed an amendment to the Constitution of the Province of Georgia that made membership, participation or contribution to any Socialist Party or Organization a crime of High Treason against the Province of Georgia. More on this story will be related as it develops.
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

#3
26FEB09
Los Angeles, California


*on board C.S.S. Biloxi*

"We're going to be doing WHAT?"

"Orders from PaciFleet state that we are to sail within the week looking for 'ships possibly involved in piratical activities during the war.' It appears that someone in Richmond wants to get tough on piracy."

"Appears that we are to be especially on the lookout for some fellow by the name of 'Sparrow.' Do we have any solid information on this guy?"

"No, Sir... just that he's a private citizen of undetermined nationality that the Dutch and French reported involved in the incident that started the war. We have no physical description, only a vague description of the ship. Heavily armed for a merchant, and flying a flag bearing a skull with a a handkerchief bound atop it, crossed bones, and a sparrow."

"Not a lot to go on... Richmond must be crazy. Still, we'll dig up what we can. Let's start making preparations. We'll be at see by the 2nd."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

#4
10MAR09
Richmond, Virginia
Admiralty Building


"Ah... First Lord Anderson! What brings you to my office today!" Roosevelt, his usual energetic self, had already sprang from his chair and covered half the breadth of the office before Anderson could even close the door and face him. Teddy grasped his hand and pumped it with a ferocity that the more decorous First Sea Lord thought very vulgar and common- something unbecoming a gentleman.
"WHY would I entertain such an illusion; this is no gentleman, he's a common woodsman who's risen beyond the station he was born to- one which he hardly merited anyway."

"Come in... sit down, sit down... what is it you have to talk about today? I assume that my plans at La Paz are proceeding smoothly; or perhaps you've come to discuss the canceling of the fifth Nuevo Leon? Let me tell you, I have SUCH plans for that..."

"Actually, Mr. Secretary, I have another matter to discuss- the sudden proliferation of the so-called battle cruiser. As you know, these ships possess a minimum of armor- roughly as much as an armored cruiser- but mount rifled cannon the size of a battleship..."

"Quite, quite... continue."

"It is our concern is, Mr. Secretary, that if we were to build a class of such ships, they might find their way into a line-of-battle. A ship with the guns of a battleship, in short, will somehow find itself being used as a battleship by anyone who thinks of a ship's capabilities in terms of guns. Few consider the ship in terms of armor... and this is the problem we fear. Thus, I've been presented this proposal by the Bureau of Ships to replace our aging armored cruisers." Anderson passed the tube holding the plans to Roosevelt, ready for any wild, ranting response. A leap upon the desk was hardly out of the question. This man knew no civility. Anderson steeled himself for... everything, anything.

And was, actually, mildly disappointed in the response.

"Well, she's larger than our Georgia class battleships... and two-thirds as big as our Nuevo Leon class. I know, I know... they are obsolete and we haven't even launched the first two. Too damn many politicians involved in that ship, not enough sailors; you can't build a battleship within budget constraints- the battleship must be designed, and then the budget made to fit it. Such is what it would seem is expected to be done with this cruiser." Roosevelt studied the plans carefully, tracing the lines on the paper like he was stroking the fur of a beloved pet. Clearly, Anderson realized, he had the Secretary's attention.

"And you would say that you could have her to sea... when?"

"She'd be operational by this time in 1912, Mr Secretary. By which time, she'd hopefully not be obsolete. Unfortunately, the march of progress has a bad habit of doing that to a ship lately."

"Progress is as it is, Sir. We must adapt. The days of small, slow ships are at an end, and it would do well for our politicians to realize that. We can no longer simply build ships to defend our coast and maintain the illusion of safety; recent events show that one must, MUST I say, maintain an ability to STRIKE AN ENEMY, rather than prevent himself from being struck. Si vis pacem, para bellum."

*"Who IS this man, and in which closet has he secreted the Secretary of the Navy"* wondered Anderson. Is this not the same man who had argued fiercely for several projects that the First Sea Lord would only have called 'foolish' on a generous day? Yet Roosevelt was not only making sense, he was APPEALING to the First Sea Lord. For the first time in their mutual association, Anderson had actually began to think that Roosevelt was capable of intelligent thought on naval matters. "I wholeheartedly agree, Mr. Secretary. If you believe that these plans are to your liking, then there are certain others that I might like to bring to your attention... plans which, if you believe that the projection of a nation's naval power is of paramount importance, you might be interested in seeing."

"Very well, please bring them at your next convenience... now, on to La Paz."

Anderson felt the moment fade as quickly as it had arrived.
*"Perhaps, I expected too much of him... or, perhaps I should... no, never. This insane scheme of a ship can never possibly work. Flight is difficult enough on land. What makes him think that a ship can support flying machines of any sort, even proven ones?"*
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

#5
17APR09 0230h local
Los Angeles Harbor
Los Angeles, California


"So, mi Amigo? Shall we do this?

"Yes, but beware the policía. Even worse, might there be some policía militar lurking about?"

"No, this is a civilian port, amigo. There are no policía militar here. There might be a few custo... er, oficiales de costumbres- officials working for the Confederatos checking cargo for contrabando- but they aren't even armed."

"Verdad? I find this hard to believe, Amigo. They enforce for the government, but are not armed?"

"Verdad. Here, politicos think that merely making laws is enough to make them be obeyed. They even seek to make us bandidos with simple words... but will not take action unless you fight them directly. Of course, if they wish us to act like bandidos, then we shall oblige them. Your group shall target the Swiss tanker. Mine will sink the Confederate steamer. Are you ready?"

"Si. Let us be about our business then, Amigo. Para los trabajadores, para la libertad!"

"Si... para la libertad!"


The Next Afternoon...

Two Ships Sink in Harbor, 40 Dead!
Early this morning, the harbor was rocked by explosions as two ships burst into flame. One ship, a Swiss tanker, blew up so violently that her keel snapped and she sank to the bottom in two pieces. Five survivors were rescued, but two died of severe burns at a local hospital. The cargo ship, A Confederate Merchant Marine vessel named Justinian, rolled over onto her side and sank in shallow water. 15 were pulled form the water nearby, but 12 were trapped within it's hull. Several crewmen from each ship are still reported missing, and it is hoped that they were able to swim to shore of their own accord and will be located soon.

Los Angeles police are coordinating with the Department of Revenue and the Revenue Cutter Service to investigate the wrecks. Initial assessment on the Justinian suggests sabotage, as the site of the explosion appears to have been on the outside of the hull rather than the inside. It is unknown who might be responsible for this reprehensible act at this time, but rest assured we will report as soon as the information is released.


"Perhaps we should make a statement, Amigo?"

"No, the statement has already been made. Justinian was owned by a vocal opponent of our campaign to free the oppressed from the shackles of the rich. In time, he will spread the word for us. Return to our brothers and tell them that we were successful."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

01JUN09
La Paz, California


*conversation between 1LT Tom E. Selfridge & 2LT Frank Luke*

"Good Morning, Frank... how goes the flying?"

"Rather well, Tom. I think that we are approaching a breakthrough on the use of air-dropped munitions. The last 5 tests have all reliably hit the target area from an altitude of over 300 feet! If we are able to get above 500 feet, then we'll be virtually immune to rifle fire. Thus far, we've limited payload to two old six-pounder shells, but we plan to increase to four or even five... if the aircraft can handle it."

"By the way... where's Raoul? I have a job for him."

"I think he's airborne. He was on the rotation for today."

"When he gets back, tell him to pack his bags for a month. He will also need to prepare his crate for transport by rail- standard security precautions are to be observed. Oh, and tell him to pack warm... it's still cold in... er, just tell him to pack warm."

"Right, Tom... and perhaps he should bring a bridle and saddle as well?"

"It would probably be a safe bet, Frank. Tell him that Mr. Cessna will meet him at the depot tomorrow at 0530. Now, get your crate into the air- we've been ordered to speed things up. And we've received orders to begin Duckfoot within the month, so be prepared to learn how to land all over again."

"Tom, what in the hell are they planning?"

"Frank, I have no idea... and I'm not entirely sure that I wish to."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

The Rock Doctor


Carthaginian

Quote from: The Rock Doctor on December 11, 2007, 07:16:56 PM
What's with the "censoring"?

LOL... not censoring.
I'm having to keep up with Rohan on some things, and Ithekro is ahead of me on news.
Thus I'm having to post in the future while still working on the past here in the present.
This kind of thing is the reason why time travel gives me nosebleeds. ;)
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Tanthalas

"He either fears his fate too much,
Or his desserts are small,
Who dares not put it to the touch,
To win or lose it all!"

James Graham, 5th Earl of Montrose
1612 to 1650
Royalist General during the English Civil War

Carthaginian

So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Desertfox

Interesting, so the CSA is also interested in Aircraft Carriers...

As for Sparrow, even I don't know where he is! As for his involvement, he really didn't do anything at the engagement. He's known as a pirate only OOC.
"We don't run from the end of the world. We CHARGE!" Schlock

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20090102.html

Ithekro

(Only because your privateers were not paid for by any accounting the mods cound find, thus they were not considered valid to be used in the war...otherwise Sparrow and Turgon would have had some interesting adventures..and then probably sunk by Austrian or French hunters.  This is also why you don't know where he is I guess.  Where did you leave him last?  Did you check there?)

Carthaginian

Quote from: Desertfox on December 13, 2007, 08:34:52 PM
Interesting, so the CSA is also interested in Aircraft Carriers...

Airship tenders, actually.
No aircraft has the range to be useful at sea, nor the reliability to do so.
Airships, however, are reliable and long-ranged.
Teddy likes gadgets... this idea appeals to him.

Quote from: Desertfox on December 13, 2007, 08:34:52 PM
As for Sparrow, even I don't know where he is! As for his involvement, he really didn't do anything at the engagement. He's known as a pirate only OOC.

I don't know where he is either... that's why I'm looking for him.
And his involvement won't stay secret forever. The biggest flaw of all pirates, after all, was bravado. Eventually, some lass would prove too tough to get into the sack using just alcohol, so a tale or two of his manly exploits must be related to convince her of his prowess. It need not be the captain- in fact, it'd probably be a cook that never fired a shot- but he'd tell the tale nonetheless, and the caliber of lady he'd be chasing would not only realize the worth of listening, but the worth the story might have to the authorities... especially if she were currently 'entertaining' one and wished a favor in the future.
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Desertfox

There was the (censored) budget...

Last I saw him was somewhere in the Indian Ocean. He might be as far as the Carribean or more probably cooling his heels in Siam. It won't be bravado more like complaints about the 'One that got away!', course the cook can tell how they sank the entire French Navy getting to the convoy, but then they would probably mistake him for a Swiss reservist. Thought it would make a good story if he got caught and then escaped...

I thought it was aircraft. NS was going with airship bases on every little atoll out there instead of tenders, but was considering turning a wounded Tuna into an experimental CV ala Furious.



"We don't run from the end of the world. We CHARGE!" Schlock

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20090102.html