Richmond Times-Dispatch 1910

Started by Carthaginian, December 28, 2007, 12:53:23 AM

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Carthaginian

05JAN10
Richmond, Virginia
Capital Building
0800EST


"Good morning, Mr. President."

"Good morning to you as well, Thad. How are things today?"

"Not too bad, Sir, not too bad... but then again, I didn't lose half my things switching offices the way you did. I just came back to work."

"In that case, Thadeous, I leave it to your capable mind to brief me on all those things that are missing or misplaced. What is the first item of the day, then?"

"It appears that there has been an upsurge in the piracy taking place in the Gulf. Gran Colombian vessels have been attacked as well as our own, and Atlantic Patrol Group 2 from Haiti have recently stopped and boarded a small fishing boat that was found to have a pair of 37mm Maxim guns aboard. Not a lot of firepower, mind you, Sir, but enough that they could intimidate many boats in the area. Also, one of cruisers out of Mobile- *checks his papers* the Pulaski- intercepted a steamer that had a 100mm on her deck hidden behind some boxes. Still, several ships from shrimpers and fishermen to one cargo ship of 2500 tons have gone missing over the last few months. Most disturbing of all, Mr. President, is this report. It was delivered to us via General Pershing's office, and related to him from the Military Intelligence office of the Trans-Mississippi Army."

*Roosevelt studies the papers for a while, first skimming, then carefully reading*
"Are these rumors true? Are they confirmed by some other means yet, Thad?"

"Not at present, Sir... though we are looking."

"And this fellow, Senior Arango, what do we know of him?"

"Only what he has volunteered. Apparently, some DRM Comisión De la Gente decided that his niece was- as everything else down there is considered- 'property of the State,' and thus free for the taking. A ride back to his farm and a few muffled gunshots later, he was a bandido, and riding towards our border as quickly as he could. He made it into Chihuahua and has hidden out there for some time, apparently. He has connections within the DRM through various relations, and visits across the border in a rather non-legal fashion often. One disturbing fact... he mentioned this tattoo was on the body of the man he killed."

*Roosevelt glances, then stares, first with amazement, then with genuine anger mixed with apprehension*

"Thad. Are we completely certain that is accurate?"

"No Sir, we are not... but I understand that we can't stop looking until we find out whether it is or not. I have the best operatives we have in the DRM beginning to look for information."

"Very well, Thad. Notify me as soon as this develops anything."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Desertfox

"We don't run from the end of the world. We CHARGE!" Schlock

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20090102.html

Carthaginian

#2
07FEB10
San Andrés Tuxtla, Veracruz
1300CST


"Senior!"

*"Jesus Christos... what might this nino wish to see me for?"* Dorotea Arango leaned forward out of the barber's chair and towards the child. The barber stepped back... Confederate dollars were harder than pesos, after all, and since this man was paying in them- and didn't seem like a tourista- he might have business that was important enough to earn them, and that kind of business was seldom legal and occasionally deadly in the República Democrática de Mesoamerica.

"Speak, nino, before I ask the barber to use the razor on your neck and not my beard!" Doroteo commanded jokingly. "I'm in a hurry, and the steam from the towel gets cold. I have no desire to feel like my face is afire."

"Si! Senior, I found what you told me to look for... well, Manuel found it, but he didn't know what it was, and Jorge didn't know either, so they came and told me, and I..."

"SPEAK!" Doroteo roared, urging the boy to get on with the story. "I haven't had a siesta yet, nor has the barber!"

"Me disculpo, Senior... I will get to the point. Manuel saw several men entering a cantina in Coatzacoalcos while visiting his mother's brother's house thispast weekend. He said that they were allowed to enter only after showing the man behind the door a tattoo. Miguel swears that it was this red eye that you were looking for that he saw on the man's arm..."

Dorotea flipped the boy a shiny, silver coin which he caught in midair.
It was a 10 peso piece... enough to feed the boy's family for a week.

"Very good, nino. Several of my men will remain behind here. Tell them to make sure that your family's granja is protected against all those damn Comisión bastardos."

"Si, Senior. Muchos gracias! El Dios le bendice!" The boy skittered off into the street, racing to get back to his home to share the newfound wealth with his mother. 10 pesos was a small price to pay for that information... and made even smaller by Dorotea's knowledge of the boy's financial situation and the knowledge of how much it would help his family. Life on a Colectivo was never easy and always accompanied by that dull gnawing in one's belly that signified never really having enough to be full. Perhaps- if only for a while- that boy's family might be spared the feeling.

Dorotea sat back, and the barber applied a fresh hot towel.
He let his mind wander... how best to do this?
Finesse?
Strength?
Duplicity?

*"No, I must make a STATEMENT."*
When he looked at it that way... there was only one way to go about it.
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

#3
14FEB10
Coatzacoalcos, Veracruz
2100CST


The city was lit up as though it was high noon.
Acrid powder smoke drifted through the streets, and the popping of fat lightard* burning echoed through the town as the gunfire that only recently died down once had. An old drunk lay in a nearby gutter, mourning the loss of the cantina as though it was his favorite dog.

"Here, viejo hombre; take the edge off your grief."
The man in the saddle passed down a bottle of mescal to the aged stranger. It was the only kindness he could afford as he left the town, though any kindness was a good one to do for his people... even the least of them.

"You know Doroteo, that after this, we are truly bandidos... we can never go home again." His lieutenant was silhouetted against the burning cantina and the rest of his men, already calling themselves 'Los Dorados', formed dark patches against the radiant red glow, coming two by two behind them.

"Tomás, I haven't been able to go home for a long time. The man who left fleeing the Socialistas is dead... and today, he is buried and forgotten. From now on, we all take new names; order the men to each invent a new one as we cross the desert tonight. When we awaken tomorrow, we will all be new men."

"Si. What will you do with the... er, 'gifts' that we aquired during the raid?"

"What any good hide harvester should do! I shall tan them and sell them to those who wish to own them! 5 will go to General Pershing; the remainder, I have a special purpose in mind for. Pretend that they didn't exist."

"Si, Doroteo. I shall talk to the men."

"Call me that no more. Doroteo Arango is dead... killed by the injustice in this blasphemy of a nation that claims to be founded on the people's will, but is in truth founded on the people's fear.

From this day forth, I am Pancho. Pancho Vila."



*'Lightard' is a local term for heart pine wood, aged to the point that it's sap has become very concentrated and highly flammable. It was extensively used in construction in the early part of the20th century, as it was easily available and was extremely resistant to decay because of the same pitch-like sap that made it so flammable. Use of this as a building material ensured a long-lasting building, as long as no source of flame stronger than a lit cigarette was exposed to the wood.
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

#4
28FEB10
Richmond, Virginia
1230EST


"President Roosevelt, what a pleasure." First Sea Lord Anderson almost meant it, with the massive change in relations that seemed to be taking place between the Navy and the Executive branch since Roosevelt's election. "What brings you to the Admiralty building today?"

"I'm here to discuss several grave deficiencies in our Navy, things that need to be addressed as soon as we can possibly make them right, with no delay. Our cruiser forces are abominably outdated, our battleships small and under-armed, and our supply chain for extended operations is nonexistent. we must accelerate out building plans in order to compensate for these problems. I've come here to ask you what is being done about these problems, and to examine options for what further can also be done." Roosevelt carried the look of a man that had a grave concern for what he was speaking about. He also, Anderson noticed, bore a large map case... no doubt full of the 'options' that he spoke of.

"Well, Mr. President, I'll begin with the cruisers. Our newest project, the Murfreesboro, is proving to be very successful in terms of production cost and ease of building. We have a planned run of 12, with four already at sea, four building, and four more planned. They should all be finished by mid-1912. They compare favorably with other designs going to sea at the moment, though there is always room for improvement. We plan to continue the general design trend of this class in their follow-ons. There is also a rather quiet initiative underway, Project Rolling Thunder, slated to deal with our deficiencies in larger cruisers.

Next, our battleships. Unfortunately, our battleships ave always been designed for the purpose of defense. There was never any real thought towards having to fight a war beyond our territorial waters. This has lead to battleships that are small, only moderately well armed, and short-ranged. The good thing is that our last four battleships, the Virginia and the Nuevo Leon, classes are almost too heavily armored and field some of the heavier guns afloat, even if they only field six guns each."
Anderson passed the President a folder and then paused for a moment, giving Roosevelt time to locate the relevant articles and follow along.

To remedy this, we have three major projects for consideration.

The first is Project Big Iron. This is a rather extreme case, and is not considered practicable at this time; it is included here merely for completeness. We estimate at least 5 more years before we can initiate construction on a vessel of this type. We do estimate that this will, eventually, become the basic design for our main line warships, though.

The second is Project Red Man. This is the 'compromise' solution to our problem, and is not only implementable immediately, but also highly affordable. This affordability comes at a steep price, however, in both in range and capability. Red Man is not as powerful as the other project under serious consideration; it's protection is lighter than our current battleships- though still judged as adequate- and it's seaworthiness suffers from it's basis on current, coastal, designs.

The final project, and the one that we favor, is Project Gemini. It is of longer range than Red Man, has greater firepower, and would be better capable of dealing with the possibility of increasing threats as technology advances. Gemini also possesses a powerful anti-TB armament, viewed as necessary for future operations."


Roosevelt looked over the specifications for each of the ships, pausing when he arrived at Big Iron's section. "When did we...?"

"We aren't... not yet, at least. We estimate at least 3 more years."

"Very well, what about accelerating building plans to replace old, unserviceable ships?"

"This is a touchy subject. We are never going to be able to replace ships on a one-for-one basis... ships are simply growing too large to be able to do it. Several of our new torpedo vessels are approaching the size small cruisers were only 20 years ago, and our proposed battleships are double the size of the Georgia. We have decided that concentrating on cruisers and torpedo rams is our priority at the moment. We are considering contracting out some construction if we can find a willing party, and we have recently taken the Texas and her sister into drydock for a refit which will bring them up to standards that will keep them viable for at least 10 more years as coastal defense ships, at least. Since the Pacific War has left more battleships on the floor of the ocean than sailing it, we plan to deploy them to the Pacific. The Nuevo Leon and her sisters will likely wind up in the Gulf, with Virginia solo on the Atlantic coast. Whatever battleship project we choose to develop will replace Virginia when launched, and she will go into drydock, to be effectively refitted to the same standard as the Nuevo Leon and then sent to join the Gulf Fleet."

"Thank you, Lord Anderson... this has been most instructive. I regret that I must be on my way, but I SHALL return within the week to hear more about the other projects that you named. Also, these are some of the items that my staff would like you and the Admiralty too look over and discuss regarding feasibility. Expect me Tuesday next to receive their reports."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

01MAR10
Richmond, Virginia
0600EST


Five men sat around a table in the basement room of the Admiralty building. This particular room wasn't exactly what one would call 'comfortable'- it was full of smoke, not too well ventilated, not too well lit, and generally not as clean as the rest of the building. It was also located behind three sets of locked double doors, with the two outer sets having MP's posted on either side. The inner doors had no guards, but rather were bolted in three separate locations, had hinges that could be barred shut, and sealed rather tightly in their felt-lined frame.

The entire set-up seemed insanely paranoid and overdone, but it was within this room that the First Sea Lord, Secretary of the Navy and the Grand Admirals of the Fleets met to discuss policy for the Confederate Navy. Aside from these 5 men, only one other person was allowed in the room when those doors were locked. His name was Diving Falcon Stanley- a native of the Alabama tribe from near Montgomery-and he had been in the Confederate Navy for almost 40 years. He was the lone person in the building judged trustworthy enough to take the minutes of these meetings.

As the men talked, he wrote:

First Lord: "Gentlemen, the President apparently knew somehow of our plans for Red Man. Anyone here care to elaborate on exactly how this came about?"

*denials from all around the table*

First Lord: "Apparently, President Roosevelt maintains some of his own 'people' in our design bureaus from his time as Secretary of the Navy. No matter, it seems to have befitted us this time. I'm sure that you all have read the papers that I had sent to you yesterday night, and have formed your opinions on them. Speak candidly... this will effect our planning for at least the next four years."

Atlantic Fleet: "Why in hell would we want to build Red Man, even if this would make it easier than we had planned. Red Man was only meant to be a stop-gap... a back-up plan in case we couldn't manage to continue with development of Big Iron or Gemini. Red Man is short-ranged compared to the other two ships, and not made to handle Atlantic weather."

Pacific Fleet: "I agree that Red Man is the lowest common denominator in this situation, but it does give us the chance to build three battleships for the cost of two. It also gives us a homogeneous battleline and will enable us to support the three-ocean navy that we have to maintain to keep our borders secure."

Atlantic Fleet: "Easy for someone to say when he has no enemies to defend against. No one in the Pacific poses a threat to us, whereas in the Atlantic there are no less than three possible enemies. Pacific Fleet is getting the refitted Texas and Georgia class ships for a reason."

Gulf Fleet: "Either way, Red Man will allow us to build up the numbers that we need to form a decent battleline. And this Two Step that the President suggests will enable us to really bring fleet effectiveness up to a point that our most likely adversaries cannot compete with for some time. All we'll need is roughly 2 years to get things completed."

Secretary: "As much as I'd favor going with Gemini, the advantages of combining Red Man and Two Step are manifold. We can develop a fleet of 7 modern battleships in only two years at minimum cost; combined with Revolving Door in the Pacific, this will give us 11 battleships total. If we choose to adopt some of the other plans that the President's group has suggested, like Guard Dog, we can further increase the number of coastal battleships to 8, giving us 19 ships with heavy guns. This advantage is undeniable, and it stands the highest chance of political success."

Atlantic Fleet: "And what about the deployments? Who exactly will be getting what?"

First Lord: "Revolving Door will be active for the Pacific, that is set in stone. Texas and California are already a quarter of the way finished with their refits, and Georgia and Sonora will begin in January of next year. Two Step would commence in 3 months or less if we can get Subject Cesar to cooperate. At the end of Two Step, Virginia would join Pacific Fleet.

Guard Dog will get underway in the Gulf in 1911, mostly in Texas yards. Also, project Tarpon is still under consideration to augment the Murfreesboro class cruisers. After Two Step, the Nuevo Leon class will be sent to the Gulf as a body, suplemented by the Guard Dog units.

Red Man will deploy to the Atlantic in order to counter our greater threat level there, probably all 3 units to Charleston. Additionally, several units from Tarpon and at least 4 Murfreesboro cruisers will be there by late 1913."

Secretary: "Gentlemen, I move that we adjourn this meeting. The smoke is beginning to get to me."

First Lord: "Very well... Everyone be ready to meet again later in the week, perhaps on short notice, to review the plan after the President sees our changes. Gentlemen, good day."

*the men file out of the room, leaving Diving Falcon alone*

Diving Falcon retrieved his poke and pipe from his boot, and packed as he studied the notes. For more than 20 years, he had held position; for more than 20 years, he had quietly indicated to the President what happened behind these walls. Who would have thought that saving a young midshipman from burning alive in a battle against the Anahuac would have caught the attention of the President, earned him this important duty at the Admiralty... and and even more important one at the Executive House. He was one of the offices best kept secrets, and had enabled the various Presidents he had served to ensure that the Navy developed in a way that would not only benifit the nation, but would be assured of getting through Congress with the least fuss.

For an hour, Diving Falcon copied his notes, both into English and Spanish. He then carried the bag containing the originals downstairs to the furnace and tossed them in under the supervision of 2 MP's. Neither ever looked inside his poke.

Puffing gently on his pipe, Diving Falcon walked back up the street toward his home.
On the way, he'd pass the Executive House, where he'd let a certain equiery bum a smoke. The equiery would, however, exchange his empty poke for Diving Falcon's full one instead of simply getting a pinch of tobacco. No one ever thought anything of it; this had happened forever. After all, Diving Falcon was good at curing tobacco, and everyone occasionally liked to buy a bit from him. The equiery would then roll and light a cigarette as he went to tell the President that the horses were groomed and fed for the evening. Though Roosevelt didn't smoke, he had a fondness for Native traditions, and would give the equiery a poke of tobacco to leave at his Grandfather's grave since the equiery occasionally seemed to misplace his upon visiting.

It was explained to Roosevelt to look in the back corner of the sofa by the door every time after the equiery left. Today, as had happened 5 times before, there was a poke of tobacco. Roosevelt dutifully poured this into anew poke to give the equiery on his next visit, and called in his translator to find out the latest news from the Admiralty.
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

The Rock Doctor

Nice items.  It will be interesting to see what future projects correspond to what code-names, and what ends up happening.

Carthaginian

17APR10
Edoras, Rohan
1000 local


"What the HELLS is in this box; it stinks like a ten day dead sheep!"

"I'm not sure... all I know is that I'm supposed to deliver it to the Rohirrim Envoy to the Confederate Embassy. It came to Richmond smelling almost this bad. I mean, I ain't gonna say I'm unhappy to get rid of it- not like you couldn't tell I'm lyin', and all; but after having to pack it across all of North America I'm as sorry you gotta take it as you are to get it."

"And you are sure you don't know what's inside it?"

"Buddy, if I knew what was inside it, I'd probably not be touchin' it barehanded if the smell is any indication... sign here."

several long minutes later

A package in a rather thin leather wrap is taken out of the box in front of Theocro King's senior Foreign Affairs advisor. On this package is a note, pinned in what for all the world looks like a shard of bone:

To: Theocro King
From: Concerned Citizens
Guárdese, la mirada fija del ojo carmesí está sobre nosotros


"What kind of leather is this?"

"Never felt anything like it... almost like sheepskin."

"It's not sheepskin; it's gotta be something more exotic, I've heard rumors of coastal people tanning eel hide."

"Whatever it is, it's still green... and rotting"

A grizzled old guard, standing nearby in his ceremonial garb looked from across the room and pronounced a single word that chilled the hearts of the entire room:

"Skin."

There was a collective gasp as the entire assembled group shifted their gaze towards the old Sergeant's Major; it was one of those moments where one could hear the swish of hair and the snap of disbelieving eyes opening just a bit wider and faster than biology intended.

"You heard me, M'Lords... you just don't want to believe me. It's human skin, poorly and hastily preserved and sent here as a message. If I may? I have no compunctions about handling the like."

A look, a nod, and the man at the head of the table motioned for the old campaigner to approach and open the package. The man removed his mail gloves, picked up the pack, pulled the bone out of the wrapper...

and several semi-rotted, stinking pieces of skin about the size of one's palm fell out onto the table. Following that immutable rue anyone who's ever dropped anything knows, virtually all fell with the messiest side- in this case, the bloody side that would have been the 'inside'- facing down on the table.

And everyone stared at what stared back up at them from the table.



An energy bordering on panic swept everyone at the table excepting the Sergeant's Major.

"Perhaps" he said "one of you, M'Lords, should inform the King."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

The Rock Doctor

Thank goodness for Sergeants Major.

Borys

Note from Habsburg Embassy

In light of evidence of Satanist involvement in Carribean piracy, is there any manner in which the KuKK government or military can be of assistance?
NEDS - Not Enough Deck Space for all those guns and torpedos;
Bambi must DIE!

Ithekro

May 1, 1910

From: Theoden Masterson, Ambassador to the Confederate States of America

To:  Theodore Roosevelt, President of the Confederate States of America


Dear Mr. President,

From the contents of this flesh package to our King, I would guess you have one as well.  This does not look good for either of out countries if the Eye has returned to MesoAmerica.  Rohan is aware of your country's difficulty with the Socialist and our problems with the Eye is about as great.

Theocro King would suggest a non-military solution through MesoAmerica's government first.  However, if a pirate base can be located and proven, a joint military action may be approved as a show of resolve against both piracy and the Followers of the Eye.  A strike against the Socialist government of MesoAmerica is not recommended at present, as they are the only known stable force in the country aside from some elements of the Catholic Church that have been attempting to convert more MesoAmericans to Christianity since the end of the Anahuac War.  Considering that the Pope is French (assuming "Roman" Italy didn't retain the Roman Catholic Church, and the split to the French Pope was never mended), I'm not inclined to think much of this effort ouside of the local parishes.

Proof of pirate activity is essential to avoid open war.  Showing the MesoAmericans that we can deal with the problems they cannot handle may draw them to us, though it could backfire if efforts are not made to keep them informed without alerting the Followers of the Eye.  The actions of Gran Columbia are also to be observed as Rohan is growing wary of their continued expansion in the region and rapid growth as a power.  While one does not wish for any conflict or confrontation with the Columbians, one as does not wich for they to expand any more into Central or North America, nor the Caribbean Sea.  Expanding into South American may be tolerated, but again Rohan is wary of the Columbian's rapid growth and increase in power.  The Mark was hoping to not to gain a rival again so soon after the defeat of the Anahuac Empire, and remains hopeful that the Columbians will not be antagonistic towards the Mark or her allies.

Let us hope that if we two have to ride again to war, that we may do so together against a worthy enemy that is evil and not just a political rival.

Signed,


Theoden Masterson,  Third Marshal of the Mark (Ret.)
Ambassador to the Confederate States of America

Carthaginian

17APR10
Edoras, Rohan
1000 local


Third Marshal Masterson,

Greetings! If things are well with you, then they are well with me also. Our current intelligence has localized several of the sources of the pirate attacks to the DRM province of Veracruz, and our assets within that country are at this moment pursuing such information as could possibly lead us to a more solid indication of whom our rather secretive foe might be. If Rohan would care to involve assets of their government in this operation, they need only make them known to the appropriate offices; a joint effort with pooled resources would seem more likely to arrive at a speedy and agreeable conclusion to these problems than a unilateral one by any party.

We have also noticed the increased activity of the Gran Colombian Armada in the area north of New Beleriand, and are also concerned. We are planning to shift deployments of some of our available assets to cover this part of the Gulf, and intend to ask Gran Colombia to stand down in this area. We do not desire to see Gran Colombia nor any other power use this resurgence of the Eye as an excuse to cause the Mark difficulty.

My office will remain in close contact with yours as we attempt to discover the exact nature of this threat, and exactly how deeply it affects the structure of the DRM. If any of your assets in the area of Veracruz wishes to make contact with our s, we do not believe that they shall be hard to find, though General Pershing could easily facilitate such a meeting.

Regards,
Theodore Roosevelt
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

Quote from: Borys on January 16, 2008, 04:14:53 AM
Note from Habsburg Embassy

In light of evidence of Satanist involvement in Carribean piracy, is there any manner in which the KuKK government or military can be of assistance?

Confederate reply to our Gracious allies in the HK:
APPRECIATE OFFER OF HELP IN PIRACY MATTER STOP ARE CURRENTLY EXAMINING SITUATION TO DETERMINE EXTENT OF ACTIVITY STOP BELIEVE AT THIS TIME SITUATION MANAGEABLE WITH DOMESTIC ASSETS STOP WILL KEEP APPRISED OF SITUATION AND WILL CONTACT IN CASE AID DEEMED REQUIRED STOP T.R. SENDS STOP GOD BLESS END
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

21MAY10
Mobile, Alabama
1400 CST


*Ingals Shipbuilding, Mobile Yard*

"Sir, I've orders from the Admiralty that I was told to present you with."

*the supervisor rifles through some papers*

"We're to do WHAT? She's only 3 years in service, and they want me to do WHAT?!?" The incredulous tone of the yard foreman's voice conveyed his opinion more eloquently than any words could.

"I know it seems strange, Sir... but those orders came down from Secretary Danials himself."

"I guess we have no choice in the matter, then. I'll have a slip cleared by the new year... then we can see shat this is all for."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.

Carthaginian

10JUN10
Richmond, Virginia
0600EST


"AGAIN" roared Anderson. "How many times will this bastard's name show up!"

"I have no idea how often, sir, but this time it seems that 4 of our old TR-113's were purchased under his name."

"Anything ELSE?"

"Yes, sir... they were delivered to Halifax... uhm, er, after being painted emerald green."
So 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your 'ome in old Baghdad;
You're a pore benighted 'eathen but a first-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an' if you want it signed
We'll come an' 'ave a romp with you whenever you're inclined.